


Touch Therapy

by elirwen



Series: Free Hugs [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure!Arthur, Insecurity, M/M, Touch-Starved, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-14
Updated: 2012-08-14
Packaged: 2017-11-12 02:33:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/485717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elirwen/pseuds/elirwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After his small emotional breakdown during hugging Merlin and some convincing from Merlin, Arthur invites Merlin to his flat. Merlin offers him a private touch therapy session.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Touch Therapy

“So, we’re here,” Arthur says, gesturing to the building behind. “I, uh... thanks? See you around?” he adds with a fake cheerful smile.

“You’re really bad at this, aren’t you?” Merlin says.

Arthur is ready to snap at him for making fun of him, but Merlin’s smile isn’t mocking. It seems... fond. And it does things to Arthur’s insides. 

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says finally.

“Socializing,” Merlin says. “Look, I don’t need to be a psychologist to know you’re exhausted and emotionally wrung out and you’re fighting for a bit of control. I guess you want to lock yourself in your flat, maybe drink yourself into unconsciousness.”

Arthur tightens his hold on the bag.

“You know nothing about me,” he snaps at Merlin and turns to leave.

“I’m not judging you. I...” Merlin says and sighs. “I guess something shitty happened and you’d be the type to deal with everything alone, but I’m right here and ready to help. So, will you invite me inside for a coffee or tea or for whatever you have in that bag of yours?”

Arthur is torn between blurting ‘yes, please,’ and turning the offer down because not even half an hour ago he was soaking Merlin’s shirt with his tears and it’s embarrassing and what would they do up there in his flat? Talk? Hug? Cuddle? Kiss?

“It wouldn’t be a date. Definitely not a date. I don’t want to date you,” Merlin is rambling.

It makes Arthur flinch because of course Merlin wouldn’t want to date him. Who would? He’s just a waste of space. And oh god, he can feel the beginning of tears in his eyes and hopes Merlin won’t notice.

“Oh shit,” Merlin blurts. “It was meant to be reassuring. I thought you were straight.”

So much for not noticing.

“I wouldn’t mind dating you. You’re funny and witty and good-looking and I’ll shut up now,” Merlin says.

He’s blushing and chewing his lip nervously. 

“Not a date then,” Arthur says, his voice even which is sort of a miracle given the situation. “Come on in.”

For the second time that evening, Merlin’s smile seems like solution to everything.

~x~

Arthur makes them tea and they sit in the kitchen. It’s awkward.

Merlin is the one to break the silence.

“My mum’s a therapist. She specializes in a touch therapy. That’s why I started with the free hugs thing in my free time.”

Arthur knows it’s ridiculous, but he’s never thought about Merlin doing anything else than offering hugs.

“Father says that therapy is for the weak,” he says.

“No offence, but your father is an idiot.”

“He’s the only family I have,” Arthur mumbles and it sounds pathetic to his own ears.

A moment of silence.

“I’m really bad at talking to you today,” Merlin says. “Maybe we shouldn’t talk.”

“Yeah,” Arthur says and his heart drops because once again he failed and Merlin doesn’t want to stay any longer. “Should I call you a cab?”

“For such a prat, you have some huge insecurity issues,” Merlin says.

His voice is soft and his hand on Arthur’s is warm, his thumb gently caressing Arthur’s palm.

“I thought we might try some of my mum’s techniques.”

Arthur swallows and nods jerkily, his heartbeat quickening because this is going to be more than a hug.

“Where do we do this?”

“It should be somewhere comfortable. Bed would be best, but if it’s too private, a couch or even just pillows on the floor would be enough.”

“Bed’s okay,” Arthur says and he can’t imagine what he’ll feel later when right now his head is swimming while Merlin is still just touching his palm.

“I need you to change into something you wouldn’t mind falling asleep in,” Merlin says and only then Arthur realizes that he’s still wearing his suit, only his tie absent.

It takes all his willpower to pull away from Merlin’s touch.

~x~

He feels terribly exposed dressed only in a pair of pyjama bottoms and a well-worn T-shirt. His suit has always felt like armour, an impenetrable layer of protection. 

Merlin is waiting for him in the bedroom. His feet are bare and so pale in contrast with the dark blue of the carpet.

“Come here,” Merlin says and it brings Arthur back to the presence. 

He follows Merlin onto the bed where he sits down cross-legged while Merlin kneels not right in front of him, but only slightly to the side.

It shouldn’t surprise him when Merlin takes his hand in his and starts massaging it gently from fingertips to wrist, but it still does. He watches the long fingers as they move carefully over his skin, his whole body once again pleasantly tingling.

His mind is full of frantic thoughts. What if he does something wrong? Should he give in to the urge to sigh in pleasure? Should he tell Merlin he wants more? Or that he likes the colour of Merlin’s eyes? That he wants to kiss him, hold him, never let him go? Should he push Merlin away before Merlin can say no to any of that? Merlin probably does all this out of pity. Even his earlier words about Arthur being funny and witty must have been said just to make him feel better.

“You’re shaking again,” Merlin says and Arthur looks up.

He isn’t quick enough to hide the emotions that are written all over his face and Merlin’s fingers tighten around his wrist.

“Lie down,” Merlin says.

His palm is on Arthur’s chest, pressing him down. Arthur goes without a fight.

“Close your eyes,” Merlin whispers and Arthur’s eyes fall shut automatically.

After a moment of shuffling on top of the covers, Merlin lifts his head from the bed. Arthur’s eyes fly open. 

“Sorry, should have warned you,” Merlin murmurs, and settles Arthur’s head into his lap. 

Arthur closes his eyes when Merlin’s fingers bury themselves in his hair. If he thought that Merlin caressing his hand was pleasure, this is pure ecstasy. 

“Just relax,” Merlin says, one of his hands massaging Arthur’s scalp while the other rests over Arthur’s heart. “Concentrate on the touches. Don’t think about them, just enjoy them. Try to forget there’s an outside world. For now it’s just you, me and this bed.”

The tension is slowly leaving Arthur’s body as he listens to Merlin’s voice.

“That’s it. You’re doing so well,” Merlin whispers and Arthur smiles a little, warmth spreading through him upon hearing the praise. 

They stay like that for another few minutes before Merlin speaks again.

“Ready for something else?” he asks and Arthur nods. “Roll on your side then.”

It takes a bit of shifting around, but finally they’re settled. Arthur is no longer sure if what’s happening is reality or a dream. Merlin’s warmth against his back and twined fingers of their hands feel real, but Arthur’s still terrified that opening his eyes would mean returning to the harsh reality of loneliness. It’s irrational, he knows that, but he fears nonetheless. 

“Relax,” Merlin breathes into his hair. “I’ve got you.”

Arthur turns in Merlin’s embrace, eyes still clenched shut, and presses his face into the crook of Merlin’s neck, pulling Merlin as close as possible. It’s very much like the hug that started the whole thing, only Merlin doesn’t tense this time. His hand goes to the small of Arthur’s back while the other is smashed in between their bodies, which probably isn’t too comfortable, but Arthur wants at least a moment like this before they change position again. 

~x~

He wakes up feeling warmer and more content than he felt in months and it takes about ten second before he realizes the weight around his waist isn’t his blanket and remembers the night’s events. 

Merlin is tucked to his side, his arm wound around Arthur’s middle, and Arthur can’t help but watch his peaceful expression. He wishes they could stay like this forever.

~x~

“Morning,” Merlin murmurs sleepily, smiling at Arthur.

“Morning,” Arthur replies and smiles back.

“Slept well?” 

“Very.”

Arthur brushes a strand of hair from Merlin’s forehead and Merlin leans into the touch.

“There’s a nice little café a few blocks from here,” Merlin says, his hand caressing Arthur’s forearm.

“Breakfast?” Arthur asks.

“How about a date?” Merlin asks with a bright smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Also [@ my journal](http://elirwen.livejournal.com/50358.html)


End file.
